Moving to Hong Kong with children, settling into an international school

Hong Kong offers families a great deal, including a wide choice of international schools, a strong sense of community and easy access to the outdoors beyond the city. It can also be an intense place to arrive, and children often feel that intensity before they can put it into words.

What can the first term at an international school in Hong Kong look like?

Many children take the practical changes in their stride. The harder adjustment is often the pace. Longer journeys to school, a busy academic culture and a full timetable of after-school activities can leave a child with less time to rest than they had at home.

Most international schools in Hong Kong start their school year in August, and children who join partway through may find friendship groups already settled. Living in an apartment rather than a house, with less space for unstructured play, can also change how a child unwinds at the end of the day.

Some children respond by going quiet and watchful for a while. Others throw themselves in and seem fine at school, then come home exhausted. Both can be ordinary reactions to a lot of change at once.

Why might a child feel under pressure at school in Hong Kong?

Many parents describe Hong Kong as a place where children are busy, and where there can be a sense that everyone is doing more. A child who is still settling may compare themselves with classmates who have been in the system for years and conclude that they are behind, when they are simply new. That feeling can show up as worry, as reluctance to try, or as a child who works very hard and still feels it is not enough.

What helps a child settle in Hong Kong?

• Protecting some unscheduled time each week, especially in the first term
• Starting with one or two activities your child chooses, rather than a full timetable straight away
• Keeping a few routines from home the same
• Asking about friendships in small, specific ways, such as who they played with at break
• Reminding your child that being new is not the same as being behind

When might a child need more support settling in?

It may be worth looking for more support if, after the first term, a child

• Seems anxious or exhausted on most school days
• Has stopped trying, or works very hard but always feels it is not enough
• Has no one they would describe as a friend
• Is withdrawing from family or from things they used to enjoy

How does Ruby support children and young people in Hong Kong?

Ruby Cole is a qualified teacher with a BSc in Psychology and more than ten years of experience with children and young people, including teaching and leading a department in London schools, and working as an assistant psychologist in a national children's clinical service. She won London Teacher of the Year 2021. She works online with children and young people aged 7 to 18 whose families live abroad, including in Hong Kong, supporting them with the transitions, friendships, motivation and pressure that a move can bring.

Her approach is strengths-based and personalised. Ruby starts with the child rather than the problem, taking time to understand how they think, what they find hard and what they already do well. Every programme is built around the individual child, and each session gives them something practical to take away and try.

Depending on the child, sessions might include

• Noticing when pressure is building, and working out what helps them rest and reset
• Planning for the moments that feel hardest, such as tests, presentations or unfamiliar social situations
• Practical ways to start conversations and grow a friendship from a shared interest
• Breaking big pieces of work into small, manageable steps
• Calming strategies for worry or frustration, chosen with the child so they fit how they think

Ruby and the child agree goals together, so the goals feel like theirs. That might be going into a test without panicking the night before, meeting up with one friend outside school, or feeling able to say when a week has become too much.

How do online sessions work between the UK and Hong Kong?

Hong Kong is seven hours ahead of the UK during British Summer Time, and eight hours ahead once UK clocks go back in late October. A session in the UK morning therefore falls in the Hong Kong afternoon or early evening, after the school day. Sessions are one to one, over video call, at a regular time agreed around your child's week.