My child is struggling at school, what can I do?
In short, start by noticing what your child finds hard and when, then talk to their class teacher, keep a short written record, and agree one or two clear next steps together rather than waiting to see if it passes.
Most parents notice something before anyone else does. It might be tears at bedtime, homework that takes all evening, a child who suddenly says they hate a subject they used to enjoy, or a report that says they are working below the expected level. It is easy to wonder whether you are overreacting, and just as easy to worry that you have left it too long.
Struggling at school is rarely about one thing. A child who seems to have stopped trying is often a child who has found something hard for a while and has quietly decided it is safer not to try at all. Understanding what sits underneath is usually more useful than focusing on the result.
What to notice first
- Which subjects or parts of the day seem hardest, such as reading aloud, writing, maths or unstructured time
- Whether the difficulty is new or has been building for a while
- How your child talks about school, themselves and their friends
- Whether they are tired, worried or avoiding things at home as well as at school
Talking to school
Ask for a short meeting with the class teacher and share what you have noticed at home. Ask what they see in class, what is already in place, and what they would suggest next. If you think your child may have special educational needs, you can also ask to speak to the school's SENCo.
Government guidance for parents in England explains who to speak to about SEN support at school.
Before you leave, agree one or two specific next steps and when you will check in again. Writing them down afterwards in a short email keeps everyone on the same page.
What you can do at home
- Keep homework short and predictable, and stop before it turns into a battle
- Notice and name what your child is doing well, not just the result
- Ask small, specific questions about the day rather than how school was
- Keep a simple note of what you see, so patterns are easier to spot
Common questions
When should I worry that my child is falling behind?
It is worth acting if a difficulty has lasted more than a few weeks, is affecting your child's confidence or wellbeing, or keeps coming up in reports. Talking to the class teacher early is rarely a mistake.
Should I wait and see if things improve?
Some difficulties do settle with time, but waiting without a plan can let a small gap grow. A short conversation with school and one or two agreed next steps lets you keep watching while something is already being done.
A parent consultation gives you time with a Qualified Teacher to step back and look at the whole child, make sense of what school is telling you and agree a calm, clear plan. Some families then choose tuition or coaching alongside it, and many simply leave with a clearer sense of what to do next.
Talk it through with Ruby
A free 15-minute discovery call, arranged around your time zone.
Enquire nowContinue with