Moving to Singapore with children, what the first few months at school can look like

Singapore is often described as one of the easier places to move to with children. It is safe, English is widely spoken, and there is a large, well-established international school community. That can make it all the more surprising when a child who seemed excited about the move starts to struggle a few weeks in.

What does the first term at school in Singapore usually look like?

Many children cope well with the practical side at first. The new uniform, the school bus and the new building are all things they can see and learn quickly. The harder part often arrives later, once the novelty wears off and a child realises that the friendships, jokes and routines everyone else seems to share will take time to build.

Most international schools in Singapore follow a school year that starts in August, so children who arrive partway through the year can find friendship groups already formed. The heat and humidity can also change a child's routine more than families expect, with more time indoors and less of the unstructured outdoor play some children relied on to unwind at home.

Tiredness is common in the first few months. A child may seem fine at school and then come home flat, irritable or tearful. This is often a sign of how much energy settling in takes, rather than a sign that something is wrong.

Why can friendships take longer to form in Singapore's international schools?

International school communities in Singapore are generally welcoming, but they are also constantly changing. Families arrive and leave throughout the year, and many children have learned to be a little cautious about investing in new friendships. Some parents notice that their child is included at school but has no one to invite round, and that gap between being liked and having a close friend can take a while to close.

What helps a child settle in the first few months?

• Keeping a few things from home the same, such as a bedtime routine, a favourite weekend activity or regular calls with old friends
• Asking small, specific questions, such as who they sat with at lunch, rather than a general question about the day
• Encouraging one club or activity built around something they already enjoy, since shared interests are often the easiest way into a new friendship
• Allowing plenty of downtime after school, especially in the first term
• Being honest that it is normal to feel unsettled for a while, rather than expecting them to love it straight away

When might a child need more support settling in?

Some unsettledness is expected. It may be worth looking for more support if, after the first term, a child

• Still has no one they would describe as a friend
• Is dreading or refusing school most mornings
• Has lost interest in things they used to enjoy
• Seems to have stopped trying with schoolwork
• Talks about wanting to go home most days, with little sign of it easing

How does Ruby support children and young people in Singapore?

Ruby Cole is a qualified teacher with a BSc in Psychology and more than ten years of experience with children and young people, including teaching and leading a department in London schools, and working as an assistant psychologist in a national children's clinical service. She won London Teacher of the Year 2021. She works online with children and young people aged 7 to 18 whose families live abroad, including in Singapore, supporting them with the transitions, friendships and motivation that a move can unsettle.

Her approach is strengths-based and personalised. Rather than starting with what is going wrong, Ruby starts with who the child is, what they are already good at and what matters to them, and builds from there. Every programme is shaped around the individual child, and sessions are practical, so a child leaves with something they can try, not just something they have talked about.

Depending on the child, sessions might include

• A simple weekly check-in to notice what felt easier and what felt harder at school
• Planning ahead for tricky moments, such as lunchtime, group work or joining a new club
• Small, practical steps for starting conversations and building on shared interests
• Calming strategies for big feelings, chosen with the child so they are actually used
• Ways to break schoolwork into manageable steps when motivation has dipped

Together, Ruby and the child agree goals that feel realistic and meaningful to them. For one child that might be having someone to sit with at lunch by half term. For another it might be joining one after-school activity, or starting homework without a battle a few evenings a week.

How do online sessions work between the UK and Singapore?

Singapore is seven hours ahead of the UK during British Summer Time, and eight hours ahead once UK clocks go back in late October. A session in the UK morning therefore falls in the Singapore afternoon or early evening, after the school day. Sessions are one to one, over video call, at a regular time agreed around your child's week.